How do you know whether it’s actually real love? Are you genuinely in love with this person or are you just getting more and more attached? A lot of us who have practiced eyes and experience hearts are able to spot the differences between real love and forced attachment between people.
1. Love is raw and heavy, Attachment is light and fleeting.
The one way that you know a love is real is if you really feel the weight of it even when it’s gone. When love vanishes from your life, you are taken over by overwhelming sadness and grief. When you happen to be stripped of love, you feel like you are being stripped of life itself. With attachment however, loss is consolable. It’s something that doesn’t affect you much. It’s expendable.
2. Love is about being thoughtful, Attachment is about being selfish.
When you are genuinely in love with someone else, it stops being just about yourself. Suddenly your life priorities change. Your philosophy shifts. You start thinking of your love as something that is shared and is no longer entirely your own. When you are merely attached to a person, all you focus on are your own personal feelings. You only see things from your own personal lens and you don’t necessarily have room for others.
3. Love isn’t easy, Attachment is easy only when you’re together.
Love is one of the most difficult emotions a human being is ever going to have to deal with. It’s a very complex feeling and the dynamics between two people who are genuinely in love can get very complicated. There will be lots of ups and downs between two people who are in love, but they always stay at each other’s side. Attachment is only difficult whenever you’re not together.
4. Love gives you freedom, Attachment paralyzes you.
You would never here couples in love telling each other that they aren’t allowed to pursue certain things. Couples who are genuinely in love are always pursuing their freedom. They have much trust in each other and they are never insecure about whether the other person is still going to be there the next day. In a relationship of attachment, there is always that insecurity. That’s why people who are only attached tend to place lots of rules and boundaries in their relationships.
5. Love is supportive, Attachment is constricting.
True love inspires people to become better. Attachment merely encourages stagnancy. When people are truly in love, they encourage each other to go after their dreams. They push each other to become the best possible versions of themselves. People who are only bound by attachment like to stay in a little box and they don’t like being disturbed.
6. Love is forever, Attachment has an expiration date.
Love is something that doesn’t have a time limit on it. There is no satisfying one’s desire for love and that’s why it lasts for ever. Attachment however, does have an expiration date. There are limits as to how much a person can be satisfied with one’s attachment to another. Once that craving has been satisfied, it’s on to the next one.